took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
