thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Boobs are out for the taking
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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