I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
