when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
