So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
