well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
