I seem to have left my pride at pride
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
