Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
