They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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