he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
