You're a womanizer and a bitch.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
