Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
