we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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