He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
