I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
