We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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