Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
