i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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