I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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