Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
