she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Btw I puked in your glovebox
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
