is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
