so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
