Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
