we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
