...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
