So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
