k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
