i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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