i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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