I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
