You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
