just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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