Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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