And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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