my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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