So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
