If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
