you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
