that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
