i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
