you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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