it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
well you can't waste a boner
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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