i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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