I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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