bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
