I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
