I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
