So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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