can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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