I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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