can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
