Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
