Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
