he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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