I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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